How To Overcome Possessiveness

Personal Growth

Possessiveness stems from the sense of being insecure, feeling threatened, low self-esteem, selfish behavior and that in turn make the person vulnerable for misery and suffering. Often due to own insecurity and selfish nature, most of the people tend to love too much to someone that they end up being desperate about them to the extent of being possessed.

The materialistic world of owing the desired object to feel happy and see it as the only way to enjoy life also fuels the attitude of possessiveness in relationships. Possessiveness has become a state of mind that provides pseudo security against fear and doubts in a relationship. However, love, trust, and respect are essential for long lasting successful relationship.

By being possessive you try to control the life of the person in proportion to your sense of insecurity. You curtail the freedom of desired person and that by no means comes into the category of healthy relationships. It is the sense of freedom that creates an atmosphere to let the seed of love bloom.

Possessiveness is not a true love and act as a barrier for building healthy relationship. Being possessive does not mean that you love and care for the person; it is all about self-gratification. Possessiveness can make you feel restless and it can also lead you to be jealous, abusive, violent, and do anything to pull the person down just only to hide your own insecurity.

Possessiveness is an animal instinct and not good for the social fabric of the relationship. As a human being, we have to love, care, and respect the individuality of another person to let the relationship not only survive but also prosper. If you want to have a happy and successful relationship, you need to out-grow possessiveness.


The root cause of possessiveness is insecurity and that cannot be the hallmark for maintaining healthy relationships. The sense of possession in a relationship is a sign of emotional bankruptcy and an insecure person cannot develop a healthy relationship. So, pushing yourself hard in relationship is not good for the health of your relationship and you end up being separated with your loved one. Relationship worked on the basis of understanding each other and respecting each other privacy.


In order to have a successful relationship, you should enter into it to offer something valuable. If you are emotionally bankrupt, feeling lack of self-worth and have a sense of emptiness, then it is quite evident that you would enter into relationship to make yourself complete and that lead you to be possessive about your partner, which ultimately ruins your relationship. So it is better to make an effort to enhance your worthiness to such an extent that you fill yourself with love and have love to share with your partner in your relationship.

Hence, the relationship is successful when there is mutual respect for each other. It is ok to be a little bit possessive in a relationship because we all expect some kind of loyalty, but not to such an extent that makes the life of your partner hell and they feel threatened for their own personal growth and privacy. If you want to enjoy the blessings of long lasting happy relationship, you need to overcome possessiveness and strive to make your relationship based on love, care and respect for each other.